Saturday, February 20, 2010

To Move On Or Not To Move On?

I've heard it said that some friends aren't forever - that a friend will come into your life to fulfill a purpose and once that purpose has been fulfilled they move on. According to this theory, a shy person might meet an outgoing person, and for unexplained reason they "click". The shy person helps to give the outgoing person some inner calm, and the outgoing person helps the shy person to break out of their shell. When it is time, one or both people will then pass out of the other persons life.

I never had an opinion on this theory. I never contemplated whether I agreed or disagreed with such a fatalist idea. I did however, wonder often "When would you know it's time to move on?"

Some people turn wonderful relationships into a miserable mess when one person wants to leave a relationship and the other doesn't. Lots of arguing and hurt can ensue when one person so desperately wants the other to stay. Eventually, they begin to wonder if all the fighting is worth it. They wonder if they should just let go.

Moving on at the correct time, is vital. Otherwise, you will never truly move on. If you end a relationship too soon, you will always wonder "What if?" So, how do you know when is the best time to move on and to stop fighting it?

Honestly, you just know. You come to a point where you tell yourself, "There is nothing more I can do." Because, no matter how hard you try, you can not change a person. They have to change themselves, and lets face it - They may not want to change whatever it is you want them to change (in this case - they, or you, want to leave a relationship and the other person doesn't). You can fight with them all you want, but deep down it is really a fight against the truth - the relationship isn't good anymore and it is time to move on.

Eventually, you have this moment where suddenly everything is perfectly clear. You realize exactly what you have to do. I think of it like falling in love - if you have to wonder about it, you aren't really in love. Because when you're in love, you KNOW it.

Same goes for falling out of love... and friendships.